In my world of darkness
by xann-blackstar
Summary: curtis sister fic. but this is different. I hope anyways. she was in the car crash and lost her sight. and their father is in coma.
1. In my world of darkness

I sat in the back seat My head was leaned on the cool glass of the window… to long brown hair falling in front of my face. Mommy and daddy sat in the front. Laughing at something daddy had said. I smiled…mommy turned back to me and gave me one of those smiles a mother only gives a daughter  
  
"how're you feeling dear?"  
  
I looked up   
  
"I'm-"  
  
I was suddenly thrown violently foreword. Sitting up again my inside promptly turned to ice. Daddies car had stalled on some train tracks. And a train was headed for the car. Mommy was screaming at us to get out of the car My hands fumbled down the gray interior of the car finally landing on the cold metal door handle.  
  
Pulling it out I leaned my body against the door.  
  
It was jammed.  
  
Again I slammed my body against the door. It opened for me this time and I rolled out of the car. I could feel cool liquid pooling about my temple, and a sharp pain was shooting through the front of my head near my eyes. I could see daddies car was totaled. And remember thinking 'not even Steve could fix that'…and then the darkness enveloped my vision…and this darkness I would come to know.  
  
XXX  
  
" Marah! Hey Marah! Wait up."  
  
I stopped putting my cane beside me and leaning against it. It wasn't one of those special blind people canes that I'd….well actually my brothers had seen. It wasn't white and red and blue with a tip of rubber on the end, it didn't fold, and there was no special custom made rubber grip for me. It was merely a long plastic cane, rounded off at the end. It was all that could be bought. After my mom and dad……were killed.  
  
"you know you 'aint allowed to walk home from school by yourself Marah"  
  
This was my older brother Pony's voice. When I lost my sight in mom and dads car accident I learned to recognize my brothers all by the sound of their voices. Pony's was soft. 'cept when he was yelling for me like he had just a second ago. He tended to forget I was blind….not deaf. Soda's voice was always sweet not to loud not to soft. Perfect fro the role of peace maker. Darrys voice was loud and commanding. The type that commanded-  
  
"Marah, Marah are you listening?"  
  
"yea sorry Pon' Just drifted off in my own thoughts again"  
  
I gave him a smile. And I felt his hand on my arm leading me back to the house. Being my eyes. And once again my life was dependant on someone else.  
  
I really hate being blind. I suppose If I hadn't been able to see before then it wouldn't be as bad. But before I could see everything. from the flecks of brown in Dallas's obviously bleached hair to the way Mom and Dad used to look at me.  
  
that's another bad thing about my blindness. My dad is in Coma in the hospital. And I cant even see him anymore. I'm so afraid that if he dies or wakes up I'll never see him or he'll die disappointed because his little girl, his little princess is blind. that's what I'm most afraid of.  
  
The doctors say I'm lucky. Because when I rolled out of daddies car I hit a rock. And the rock hit something. And I'm not sure about the rest.. to many big word for me. After all I am only in sixth grade  
  
"step down"  
  
Pony murmured as we hurried across a busy road… by the sound of it  
  
"step up"  
  
Pony muttered again and I felt soft grass beneath my tennis shoes  
  
"stairs!"  
  
I carefully lifted my feet up the steps to my house and we were home again  
  
(short yea its been done…but I couldn't resist. I have a few things planned for the plot and well yea I realize this may kill whatever readers I may get…..because it's a sister fic but hopefully this one is different? Ok enough babbling please review. Flames are NEVER taken into consideration. However constructive criticism is.) 


	2. Family troubles

(A/N   
  
REVEIWS  
  
Sodapop02: yes you are my first reviewer. Thank you sooo much. I was truly worried that people wouldn't like it because of the fact that it's a sister fic. I do believe I've definitely got a different plot then most and I'm really glad you like it!  
  
DISCLAIMER: forgot this one in the first chapter. I own nada 'Cept Marah.)  
  
XXX  
  
The first time I came home after I lost my eyesight the thing that hit me was the NOISE. It was so much louder then I remembered it in my house. What with the T.V. and the radio on and six or seven boys playing poker or wrestling on the floor. Maybe it wasn't like that my first night back but it certainly was like that most of the time.  
  
And today was no exception.  
  
"Maraaaaah my darling how are you on this fine wonderful day?"  
  
This was Twobit's voice. Only a little too loud however whenever I, or I think anybody else heard it. it had a tendency to make you smile. Twobit picked me up and swung me around twice before putting me down at Darrys voice… another thing about being blind is that my brothers and sometimes their friends, they tend to think that just because I'm blind that they have to be really careful with me.  
  
And I don't just mean not letting me be spun around by Twobit. I mean no walking alone at night, no cooking without someone else in the room. In fact I cant do anything by myself. I have absolutely NO privacy….  
  
"aww Darry how come? He wasn't gonna hurt me were you Twobit?"  
  
I looked up in the general direction of where I thought Darry was. Judging by the sound of his voice and the fact I hadn't heard, or rather couldn't hear any footsteps through all the noise in this room.  
  
"that's the thing Marah you never think you're gonna get hurt 'till you do.. and on another happy subject you're grounded Marah."  
  
I raised en eyebrow at Darry wondering what I could have possibly done. It didn't hit me at the moment that he couldn't really ground me… at least not yet.  
  
"what? Wha'd I do Darry I go to school and I come home! There's nowhere In-between I could have possibly gotten into trouble someone's with me all the ti-"  
  
I was cut off by Darry  
  
" That's where you're wrong. You go to school. don't do you're work come home and then don't do your homework. You need to learn some responsibility youn-"  
  
Now I cut him off. It was like a game almost. Except now I was mad. He had NO right. He wasn't blind was he? He didn't even know the fact that BLIND PEOPLE CANT READ did he? And he was not my father. He couldn't ground me. Only daddy could and I would only let daddy ground me. Because Darry would NEVER be my father.  
  
" Darry tell me Is daddy alive still?"  
  
I didn't wait for him to answer because by now the room was quiet for once. Because of me. They were listening too me. They were watching too, I could feel their eyes  
  
"He Is isn't he? Now you aren't daddy are you? No. I thought not. therefore you can't ground me. And besides did you ever think about that maybe it isn't a fact of not doing my work as to not being ABLE to do my work?"  
  
My voice was still quietly calm but I wanted to cry. This was too much for me right Now. I stood up and made my way to the stairs doing my best to clumsily climb them. My hands were clutching the railings in a death grip. I'd never been allowed to climb the stairs by myself. Darry and Sodapop were afraid I'd fall. to tell the truth so was I. Never the less I made it to my room and to my bed.  
  
I collapsed down on it. I still remember what It looks like. It's a little to high off the ground for me. So when I sit on it my feet dangle just a few inches above the gray blue carpeting upon my floor. The bedspread is a light blue with white sheets. They were my mums when she was a little girl. Jut thinking about mommy made me want to cry. And I did.  
  
When I felt like I had no more tears left I sat up my elbows on my knees and my chin in my hands wondering how I could cry tears I couldn't see. And wondering even more how I was going to explain my grades to Darry.  
  
I hated school. I was picked on for all reasons. I was poor, I was blind, I couldn't read, and I was stupid, and I had no parents… the doctors said there was a one in ten chance daddy would wake up. I don't really know probability but I know that's not a good chance I'll ever see daddy awake again. It was like when you have a pet and it dies but no one wants to tell you and they tell you its just sleeping.  
  
Sniffling and almost choking on more tears I lay back down on my bed again. If I could see I would be staring at the cracked whitewashed ceiling. However I couldn't and I wasn't. I was thinking about what excuse I could give Darry for my grades. Wondering why I even had to give him one if he wasn't my father. 


	3. so little time so many tears

(A/N three…more reviews wow!  
  
REVEIWS  
  
Movielvr-I'm so glad you like it! Lol the chappies are gonna be shorter but frequent..   
  
Dallysgirl4life-I'm glad you like it  
  
Goddess of silent tears- I'm so glad you like it!! I've actually always wanted to do a sister fic. But I didn't want it to be run-of-the-mill. And plot less or a re-write. Anyways ranting. Glad you like!)  
  
XXX  
  
Darry didn't come up. Soda didn't come up. Pony didn't come up. It had been two hours and judging by the quietness Darry had kicked the guys out. Well maybe not everyone…he would've let Jonny stay. Always did. Jonny had it too rough at home. And he and me communicated real well.  
  
He got picked on some too. Not by school kids but by his mom. She always yelled at him for one thing or another. But also I think we communicated so well because we both understood what it was like to be totally dependent upon something. I Mean without my brothers and their friends Jonny would be dead. Even I knew that. And without my brothers…well I wouldn't be able to go anywhere. I'd trip. I'd fall and hurt myself…scrape my knee and cry like a child. Or maybe be kidnapped or murdered or something….  
  
I heard my door open. And soft footsteps tread upon my carpet. It was soda. I could tell by the way he walked. His footsteps were always soft. Unlike pony's which were slightly obvious and Darrys which were loud and announcing. I felt my bed sink down slightly as he sat.  
  
"you feel like comen' downstairs? Darry made spaghetti, your favorite."  
  
I shook my head wordlessly. I would be too ashamed to look….well be in the same room with Darry. I was sucking up the families money and I knew it. And I couldn't tell them that the only way for me to read was for someone to be with me in classes at all times. Draining more money…  
  
I felt soda clear some hair from my unseeing eyes and I could feel tears in them. I just wanted to see again. Was that so much to ask? I wanted to be able to glare at my father when I got angry with him. I wanted to be able to see my tears. But most of all I just wanted to see my family and friends again. I missed seeing soda's face most of all. His handsome face and award winning smile.  
  
I felt the tears fall down my cheeks and soda pulled me into his lap.  
  
" It isn't fair soda. It just isn't fair. I cant do it. I cant do anything I just want to see again. Damn it"  
  
I muttered. Through the tears. Soda rocked me like a little kid. Heck I was a little kid. I was eleven and all I wanted in the world was my sight back. I'd give anything for it.  
  
"so I heard 'bout your grades"  
  
Soda said when I had calmed down I nodded slowly and reluctantly  
  
"what happened with you Marah? Sure you were never a spectacular student, but for a while now you've been doing pretty bad"  
  
I could feel tears stinging at my eyes again  
  
"promise you wont tell Darry"  
  
I could feel soda shake his head  
  
"you know I gotta tell him don't 'cha babe?"  
  
I shrugged. Normally I tell him everything. I trust him. I hardly keep anything form anyone intentionally. But today It was gonna change. For once. I was gonna put my foot down. I would no longer be a burden like this no more money was gonna be poured into me  
  
"then I can't tell you. I'm sorry Soda…I'm not hungry Tell Darry for me?"   
  
I rolled off his lap and face first onto my pillow  
  
"'c'mon babe don't-"  
  
I cut him off right there  
  
"I said I'm not hungry thanks soda"  
  
I muttered into my pillow. I felt him stand up and heard the click of the door as he left the room. I listened for his slightly miffed footsteps down the stairs before bursting back into tears. Would I never be cried out? 


	4. Opening the wound

(A/N   
  
REVEIWS  
  
Lili-thanks. I try for original in all of my stories and I'm really glad you like it. I enjoy sister fics. Most of the time too.  
  
Goddess of silent tears- I'm glad you like! Yea the other chappies. Will probably have more action but there's a few events I'm trying to lead up to, so some of them are gonna be fillers, but I'll try to make 'em interesting!  
  
DBZ gal- lol! Hey you just made my day! When I first started this fic I was afraid I was gonna get a lot of people claiming it was a marysue. So I'm really glad to hear you say that. Glad you like! 


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